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I share it all because the highlights divide us and the struggles unite us.
Through these candid confessions and reflections, you will understand that we are all connected. We are united by similar fears, self-doubt, and pressures.
We each hold a key to unlocking our fullest potential through inspired action.
Say “Yes” this time.
The first day I walked into Burn Boot Camp, I was exhausted and smelled like crusty breast milk. I was a new mom all over again. I was carrying extra baby weight and was reminded of it every time the fold of my butt cheeks would stick to the top of my legs. I was conflicted with emotion. My children gave me so much joy, yet I felt so disconnected from myself. My body quickly became a vessel for feeding, and all the hobbies and interests that once made me “me,” started to gather dust.
Finding Rhythm in Midlife
There are thirty of us seated in a large living room with modern art and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Santa Fe horizon. The living room belongs to Chip Conley, Founder of Modern Elder Academy (MEA), published author, and former CEO of AirBnB. He’s a hospitality guru, and so it’s only appropriate he’s hosting us so intimately in his home. Although, this was never the plan. The grand opening of the MEA Santa Fe ranch retreat center was supposed to be underway, but with a few unexpected building inspection hiccups, he was quick to improvise. Dozens of trailers were brought in adorned with luxurious hotel-grade bedding and nightstand chocolates creating an impromptu trailer park for our five-night stay. I knew our experience would be a little different, but just as special, if not more.
Is Your Vision Board a Waste of Time?
Like anything, what you put in is what you’ll get out. It’s a fun process to dream and visually create goals on a piece of paper, but your success is determined by three key factors:
Event Recap: Elevate Your Potential
I invite YOU to make the most out of your life and take action toward your dreams with me at an upcoming workshop. Together, we take the time to find stillness through a visualization meditation, and we pause to listen to what our desires truly are. This clarity begins to paint a picture of what is important to us. We step outside of the expectations of others and our own mental clutter that’s been holding us back and into the authenticity of our hearts. We create without judgment and boundaries in our relationships, well-being, spirituality, career, community, and lifestyle.
To my sister and brother.
Your eyes are swollen and heavy. They have wept and kept tears in moments of solitude and in strength, I know. A balance of letting go, holding on, and holding back. Rejecting the realities of loss, and praying for it all to be a dream. But it never is. You are reawakened each morning with the same weight on your chest. Your sadness consumes you. Your mind is full of trickery, giving you glimpses of normalcy and false hope for old habits. It’s a silent phone that isn’t going to ring, but your mind still holds hope that he will call again, just as he always did.
Love is in the (salty) air
This time, I come to you from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The past few weeks have been a marathon of travel. The disorganization of work and absence from being inside the gyms has felt overwhelming at times, but I'm proud that I've been able to stay flexible and present wherever my two feet have been planted. Currently, they are planted on the deck of cabin room 622. I am met with salty air and the sound of the ocean splashing against the ship. A cruise ship. Ted and I are joined by 12 other couples from the St. Louis chapter of EO (Entrepreneur's Organization). I feel so grateful for this opportunity. The chemistry and bond of this organization is special. There's an inherent understanding and loyalty that runs deep. As a first-time entrepreneur, I learn so much and am often reminded to slow down. So, I guess I am.
Reminders & Building Blocks
If you follow me on social you may have seen my stories of my time here in Charlotte, North Carolina. I arrived on Sunday afternoon for a weeklong training, Burn University, hosted by Burn Boot Camp HQ. Every five years (upon franchise renewal), I am required to return although it doesn't take much begging. Charlotte was HOME for me for 14 years. I moved here when I was 18 years old for college and met Ted three months later. Fun fact: Ted and I have been together since the day we met on November 15th, 2003. I almost transferred to Virginia Tech for an Interior Design degree and completed all my paperwork to study abroad in Ireland for a semester but declined both opportunities at the final hour. Had I said “yes," my life would look very different today. I'm thankful. (Plus, it turns out I suck at picking paint colors.)
Naked & Completely Free in 2023
I first started swimming as an avenue to share a common hobby with Ted. I dreaded the idea. I grew up afraid of water on Lake Ontario and the older I got, the more I fed this fear. Sharks are in swimming pools; didn’t you know that? I was afraid to even sit in a hot tub alone. But my desire for a deeper connection with my husband became stronger than the fear of imaginary fish swallowing me whole. So, I jumped in. Swimming together validated this effort and therefore I needed Ted to swim with me. I swam for him. I swam for us. We swam consistently every Tuesday and Thursday for almost two years. During this time, I created a healthier relationship with water. I panicked less. I stepped into the ocean chest-high twice and even tasted salt water for the first time in my entire life. When I swam laps, I started to pretend I was a sea turtle (feels normal, right?) and felt a semblance of peace under the cold (pool) water.
Event Recap: Love The Skin You’re In
I had the opportunity to highlight four Burn Boot Camp members from each of my gyms to learn about their fitness transformation. During our time together at lululemon, not only did I become even more inspired by each of them, but I was able to draw common themes that surfaced in their stories and journey to self-love; a practice that requires consistency, positive-self-talk, and a shift in mindset. To love the skin we’re in is much less about our physical appearance as it is our entire being. It’s knowing that we are far more than a number on a scale or the length of our jeans. Each of these members has progressed in unique ways and reflects various stages of a fitness journey, yet they are united by healthy embodiment and pride in who they are.
Event Recap: Hustle Smarter, Not Harder with Maria Granados
She is kind, genuine, and full of life. Maria also knows how to hustle. We sat down together at lululemon to talk about how to hustle smarter, not harder.
We’re finally home
In October 2018, I was invited to a lululemon event. I practiced yoga in the driveway of a home that overlooked pure beauty. Everything was meticulously maintained, and the trees were tall and healthy. The grass was greener, here…literally. The rolling hills were in all directions and created so much depth and scenic interest. I was in awe of my surroundings and thought to myself, “Someday, I’m going to live here, too.”
Event Recap: Joy in Marriage & Motherhood
I recently hosted a live event alongside my very own Marriage Therapist & Relationship Coach, Mika Ross. I spent years avoiding conversations and allowing resentment to build that by the time Ted and I walked into Mika’s office together, our message was, “Save us because we can’t.” We still shared the same North Star, but we were so disconnected that we couldn’t navigate there on our own. We were speaking two completely different languages and running everything through our own filters that were muddied with our own biases, insecurities, and fears.
Event Recap: Live on Purpose
Through our conversation, one message became clear. There is no one way to live on purpose.
Our motivators, values, and appetite for risk are unique to each of us. The journey to purpose cannot be forced, but rather nurtured. As we go through life, our experiences shape our perspectives which shape our values. Our values lead us closer to our purpose. Learning who we are through intentional self-discovery opens the door for new experiences. These experiences teach us what brings us joy, and what does not.
Don’t ignore your stepping stones.
I started working wedding banquets when I was 13 years old. I saved every paycheck and bought my first car in cash. I learned the only way to have money is to save money...and that driving in the summer with no AC sucks.
The decisions you make are shaping the quality of your life
We make 35,000 decisions every day. We make more decisions than we take breaths in a 24-hour period. The decisions we make give our breath purpose. We move from a life of merely existing to a life of intentionality; a life that serves us.
I’m not your poster child for a great marriage
We accidentally worked harder on building the wall between us than we did working together…because, well marriage is f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Until it’s not.
