Event Recap: Love The Skin You’re In
I had the opportunity to highlight four Burn Boot Camp members from each of my gyms to learn about their fitness transformation. During our time together at lululemon, not only did I become even more inspired by each of them, but I was able to draw common themes that surfaced in their stories and journey to self-love; a practice that requires consistency, positive-self-talk, and a shift in mindset. To love the skin we’re in is much less about our physical appearance as it is our entire being. It’s knowing that we are far more than a number on a scale or the length of our jeans. Each of these members has progressed in unique ways and reflects various stages of a fitness journey, yet they are united by healthy embodiment and pride in who they are.
Choose Your Circle of Influence
When Missy joined Burn Boot Camp (inspired by her daughter, Maddie) she was struggling to find consistency in her workout routines and more importantly, a mindset that would fuel those healthy habits. She was stuck in a toxic relationship, perhaps with others, but mostly with herself. Missy longed for a specific figure. A figure that was simply impossible. Standing strong at 5’3”, Missy yearned to be 5’9” and 125lbs on her heaviest day. She wanted to step back in time and re-live her glory days as a bride, only taller. As if THIS was the golden ticket to finding true self-love. There was discontent in the body she lived in and exercise became the portal through which she could magically find happiness in the picture-perfect body.
She committed to Burn Boot Camp for two weeks without expectation, although still managed to become distracted by all that she wanted to do and accomplish. Two weeks turned into three, then a month, and now recently celebrating five years. FIVE YEARS! She learned to focus on one thing at a time. That’s it, one thing. Her fixation to look a certain way shifted through the years. Instead of focusing on a weight goal, she focused on being healthy. Today, her greatest achievement isn’t finding her own physical strength at 55 years old, although she has a lot to be proud of with her handstands, box jumps, donkey kicks, and burpees. It’s not even all the weight she’s lost or how she is reverse-aging. Missy’s greatest accomplishment is the shift in mindset in accepting her body for whatever shape or size healthy brings. And more so, it’s more than physical wins for Missy. Of course, she’s PROUD of how strong she is, and her confidence shows. But, her vulnerability and acceptance of the mental strength she’s gained have opened even more doors of pure joy.
“But did you know I also made a counseling appointment?” Missy would be quick to tell you. The confidence she’s gained in her physical performance and the rewiring of thoughts have allowed Missy to peel back and share more of who she is. A gift for us all.
So, where does this circle of influence come into play? The mental junk that we consume shapes and feeds our thoughts. We are influenced by those in our social network, family, workplace, social media, what we read, listen to, and so on. We can either surround ourselves with people who encourage a healthy mindset and support us in that journey, or we can feel drained by influences that set unrealistic expectations and promote toxic thoughts. Missy was influenced by her daughter, Maddie, who first chirped in her ear, “You can do this, Mom.” Later, being surrounded by hundreds of women all reminding her of the same few words, Missy began to believe it, too. The shift in mindset coupled with Missy’s commitment to change has given her the mental freedom to know her value far beyond her physical appearance.
What voices are in your ear?
Who do you follow on social media?
If you were to change for the better, would your social network be supportive or frustrated?
Do you hear more positive or negative talk in your life?
Is it time to remove toxic energy from your life?
Lean into the Discomfort
Carlos has a military background of 15 years. As the solo male panelist representing the 10% male population at Burn Boot Camp St. Louis, I asked him how he’s been able to let go of his ego in a female-dominated community and stay focused on his goals. As he describes it, his first experience was humbling; he was in awe of what these women could do and reminded of what he couldn’t. Overcoming that intimidation takes intentional effort and commitment. Our desire to reach our goals MUST outweigh the feeling of discomfort.
For Carlos, it was all about leading by example. There was a natural resistance to the workout that left him exhausted. But he’s a natural leader and when he was in the military, he was not only taught mental toughness but he was taught that you can’t lead people without experiencing what it takes to get there. His wife, Erin (also a Burn Boot Camp employee), had joined first. He had witnessed first-hand the hard work she had been putting in and the results she was earning for herself. He was impressed by his wife and knew it was time for him to step up as well. For him to lead his family in the way he wanted, he had to show up. He had to earn his own stripes. Carlos surrendered to the female-dominated floor and shifted his mindset to think, “Look at all these leaders. That’s OK. I can get there, too. I am going to work into it.”
Too often, we quit early. We want to avoid the pain and discomfort, and often let our emotional being hinder us from our greatest opportunities. Leaning into the discomfort and expecting to struggle will take you so much further than a promised land of comfort. It is this that builds confidence and breeds new energy. This momentum feeds a positive mindset and creates a new perspective on how we see the world, ourselves, and our bodies. We ARE capable of so much more than we realize, but to prove that to ourselves, we must lean into the discomfort.
Are you quick to give up on yourself?
Do you perceive struggle as failure or an opportunity to propel forward?
Is your desire to change stronger than your fear of discomfort?
Ask for Help
Every successful person has gotten to where they are by accepting help. Whether it’s been a mentor, a loan, a team, a spouse, an entire community, a therapist, or a nanny – you get the point. We are not designed to do it all alone. We can’t. So, when you are inside the gym, why does asking for help feel embarrassing? Why does modifying an exercise instantly feed a mindset of “I can’t” versus a mindset of “I can”?
Claire broke this down for us during our discussion. When Claire joined Burn Boot Camp, she was 90 lbs heavier and struggled with a knee injury and Ulcerative Colitis. She remembers others around her doing ledge hops and trying to keep up. The thought of modifying was humiliating. “I can’t even jump,” she thought to herself. It was an all-or-nothing mindset.
“But you CAN step up,” Kira (Trainer) assured Claire which slowly began to build her strength and confidence. It wasn’t the intensity that earned Claire her results at first, it was her patience and consistency. A winning formula.
Separately, Claire’s Irish-Catholic, “big-boned and round-bodied” body slowly started to take on new narratives. She was convinced she was destined for her body type. Nope. It was inflammation. This auto-immune condition left Claire feeling heavy and lousy on the floating floor. She knew there was an opportunity to feel better and so she started to eliminate foods from her diet to understand what was creating so much inflammation. Sugar, alcohol, meat – she went through it all. Claire learned how to double her protein (all while not eating meat) through Focus Meetings at Burn Boot Camp, and relied on this one-on-one time with the Trainer to keep her accountable. Claire asked for help, and she got the help she needed. As a result, she can confidently say, “doing burpees with my sister-in-law feels better than the glass of red wine I used to micro-dose.”
If you feel stuck, reach out. Get out of your own way. Ask for help. Doing so does not make you any less worthy of your goals, or inferior to those around you. Advocating for yourself is a form of self-love. Modifying an exercise is a path to progression. When you put your needs first, you become a priority. Create an accountability group or join a community. You don’t have to journey alone, but you do have to take that first step.
Do you struggle to ask for help?
Are your expectations for yourself realistic?
Have you broken down your big goal into smaller goals?
Do you have a support system you can lean on today?
Be Your First Priority
Every morning, Katie hauls six kids under the age of eight into a car just to hit the 8:30 am camp. Why? Because that’s what it takes for Katie to reach her goals, nurture her own mental health, and set a positive example for her children. For Katie, this is important. As a mom to one child with severe special needs, she knows what it’s like to deprioritize herself. “His needs have always come first,” she said.
Many of us can relate to this in some way. Whether we are caring for our children, an elderly parent or knee-deep in the demands of work, we tend to justify why we’re not as important. By being selfless we’re putting our best foot forward. But what happens when we become tired? Impatient? Irritable? Are we still bringing our best selves? No, we’re not. Not only does being a priority in our own life create the space for us to be our best selves, but it also reinforces a mindset of positive thoughts. When we come first, we remind ourselves time and time again that we are worthy, too. That we have value, and our value doesn’t stem from our physical appearance, but rather from the energy we put into this world.
Katie now understands this. Today, her son’s needs are worked into the family routines as a whole and all kids work together to make it happen. A true team effort. That is the standard Katie has set and as a result, her family is rising and thriving together. Katie has created a system of consistency that allows her family to thrive. While only being a Burn Boot Camp member since August 2022, this shift in priorities and commitment to consistency has positively impacted her family’s life already.
“I want my kids to know that you have to take care of yourself.” What better way to teach our children than to show them through action?
How do you nurture a healthy mind, body and spirit?
What lessons are you teaching your kids through your actions?
Are your actions setting a low or high standard for yourself?
Of all the relationships we have in our lives, the one that is with us from the time we are born, to the time we pass, is ourselves. Sit with that. How much of your life have you spent doubting yourself? Wishing for different skin? Placing your value on your physical appearance? Never being a priority?
If this is you, it’s time to break these habits and shift your mindset. Be your own cheerleader. Put yourself first and set your standards higher. Achieve more by showing patience and asking for help. Surround yourself with only those who support and encourage you. Embrace your failures as opportunities for growth. Ditch your excuses and create the time. Love the skin you’re in.
