Event Recap: Your Relationship with F-O-O-D
Meet Jillian. If you were at my live event last week, you did. You already know that she is fun, energetic, witty, humble, smart, and passionate. Best of all, she’s been cooking for me since 2017 through her local empire, fit-flavors, and for thousands of others since 2009.
Thirteen years ago, she started meal prepping for others out of her kitchen. Nine years ago, she had outgrown her DIY operation and realized she had something even bigger to offer this world. A storefront. One became two, two became three, and today she runs five fit-flavors in St. Louis. It’s more than a storefront though. It’s her passion. Her own personal struggles with nutrition have helped shape the values and mission of her business. Whole foods, quality ingredients, and an emphasis on living a lifestyle, not a diet.
She writes [page 58], “In college, I would pack a cooler with my food: a shaker bottle with two scoops of protein and one tablespoon of flaxseed oil in it (my 10:00 a.m. snack), and a Tupperware of tilapia and green beans for lunch. Since I was in between classes, I ate the fish cold, even though it meant the good fats would be coagulated at the bottom of the container, like jelly, because I was so desperate to lose weight. I used to think my suffering was making me better and healthier.”
Jillian openly talked about this mindset of obsession that ultimately led her on a mental rollercoaster of fear and failure. She wanted to look like a fitness model – an impossible beauty standard we should all surrender to immediately in pursuit of our own body’s version of healthy. Her circle of influence was effective. She became a personal trainer at 18 years old and later started dating a bodybuilder. In her mind, they had the secret to “success.” Dieting, deprivation, and discipline. Cold, coagulated fish became the norm.
It wasn’t until she found grounding in her family and faith and took the time to educate herself that she realized she had it all wrong. Her aspirations and joy could never be fulfilled through a bodybuilder’s lifestyle. She buried her head in textbooks, and schooling and studied her own experiences with food. With more education, confidence followed. One look at her and it’s obvious you can live a life of intuitive eating and still be drop-dead gorgeous.
I struggled with obsessive, and disordered eating for different reasons. Growing up through a difficult divorce as a young girl and into a large family came with its own challenges. I have five brothers and three sisters; at one point I had seven brothers but that’s a different story. When my stepmom would return home from Sam’s Club, we would carefully circle the kitchen and strike fast like a gang of raccoons preying on garbage. The bags stood tall and empty on the kitchen island within seconds. Every time, she would get upset that she couldn’t keep groceries in the pantry. We hid them, and we hid them, good. Did you know the only way to keep your big brother from stealing your fruit roll-up is to shove the entire thing in your mouth? Food was comforting to me. It still is.
Throughout my adult years, I was desperate for control. The pendulum swung so far left that I feared a simple pea sitting on my plate that wasn’t properly logged. In my mind, I was winning; I had finally learned self-control after all those years. This control gave me a sense of pride and power.
Today, I eat chips with Jillian. We can laugh about our dysfunctional mindset but deep down, we know it’s far from funny. We acknowledge that so many people are facing similar battles with nutrition. Regardless of how our negative food associations are created, the output remains the same – unhealthy. Re-wiring our brains and shifting our mindset to create positive food associations is a process, but one that’s worth it. Getting “stuck” is easy to do. We question what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat, all while silently suffering through the food stigmas that we’ve been conditioned to believe as the golden answer:
Low carb. Low fat. High fiber. Paleo. Keto. Atkins. Carb Cycling. Intermittent Fasting. Juicing. SlimFast. Weight Watchers. Broth Detox. Liquid Diet. Jenny Craig. Gluten-Free. Non-GMO. Blood Type Diet. Subway Diet. South Beach Diet. Raw Food Diet. Apple Cider Vinegar Diet. NutriSystem. Mediterranean Diet.
I asked the audience to raise their hand if they can confidently say they eat without worrying. Only a handful of people raised their hands. We have become stuck, impatient, and paralyzed by information.
Jillian provided her seven-part framework from her book, Owning the Wait, to aid in shifting your mindset:
Visualization
Speaking new narratives
Writing
Education
Making time
Owning and processing the failures
Trusting the wait
Consider how much mental energy you spend exhausting yourself worrying about food. If you didn’t worry about food, how could this mental energy be allocated in a way that serves you for the better? Pay close attention to those that surround you, and where your narratives are being created. Is your circle influencing you in a positive direction? I encourage you to take inspired action to shift your mindset and take ownership over your own nutrition journey. You can pick up Jillian’s book in any of her fit-flavors locations or online, here.
Q&A
Q: I don’t cook in our home, so it’s harder for me to eat healthy. I’m afraid of hurting my husband’s feelings who takes a lot of pride in making dinner. What advice do you have?
A: It may be time to have a hard conversation with your spouse (or whoever may be cooking for you). It’s important that those in your circle understand your goals and can support you in your journey. Be open and honest and explain what types of foods make you feel healthy, and what doesn’t. You can still compliment someone’s cooking (i.e. flavor, texture, tenderness, coloring) and appreciate the work that goes into the craft without indulging in it. Try taking a smaller portion and preparing something separate on the side to start. You may have to break down some communication barriers to understand what’s truly important to each person to find a common ground where everyone’s needs are being met.
Q: I’m having a hard time getting in my protein. Is it bad if I rely on supplements?
A: Whole foods are always best. However, protein powders serve a specific purpose and can range the gamut of quality so paying attention to the ingredients, preservatives and artificial sweeteners are important. Remember, getting to a place of intuitive eating is a journey. Appreciate every stepping stone and positive habit that you create. If doubling up on your supplements helps you increase your protein in the short term to create the habit long-term, consider it a win. If it’s the difference between drinking a protein shake at your son’s soccer game vs. none, consider the protein shake a win. Think, “good/better/best” to relieve the pressure and expectations of perfection, rather than foods being put in a binary “good/bad” category.
At Burn Boot Camp, we recommend 20-30g of protein within 20-30 minutes of exercise. Our very own protein powder, Afterburn, is a clean, quality-ingredient protein that is available in both plant-based and grass-fed whey.
Are you looking for a Registered Dietician? This can be a great resource for those who need that additional support, education and prescriptive meal planning. Fit-flavors can assist!
Q: I’m 50+. I have to work harder with my nutrition now. Any advice?
A: This is tough to answer as everyone is different. Schedule a visit with your doctor to have your bloodwork taken to check your hormone levels. Menopause and stress can play a role in this. And remember, our bodies are designed to change. Focusing on a positive mindset to appreciate all that your body IS and CAN DO today, may help minimize this added mental energy.
Q: How do I encourage my kids to eat healthy without forcing them?
A: We all parent a little bit differently as we have different values that guide us and constraints that may limit us. Jillian’s refrigerator is stocked with fit-flavors – no surprise! She will often pull out a handful of meals and either serve those directly or combine a few dishes to prepare something new. She has set the expectation with her kids that healthy food is a part of their lifestyle, although keeps a realistic stance on sugar and snacks. Everything is moderation.
When I prepare food for the week, I will often cook two to three vegetables and a couple different types of protein. When it’s dinner time, I give my kids a choice from what is available. This ensures that they will get a healthy meal but puts the freedom and control in their hands. The older they become (8 & 10), the more independence they want. I also find success is associating healthy foods with goals that are specific to each of them. Instead of demanding chicken, broccoli, and rice, I explain that by eating these foods “you will have more energy on the soccer field and your game with improve.” I try to speak their language and like Jillian, keep everything in moderation.
