Event Recap: You are NOT fine with Heath Norton
“Mental Health.” It was a quick answer when I asked Heath what topic he most wanted to address. It was also the one topic that made him feel the most uncomfortable. This space of passion and discomfort is always where the most opportunity lies.
Heath shared his story about loss and light. He experienced a significant amount of change and heartache in a short period of time. Over the course of six years, he lost his business, both his parents, uncle, and grandmother. He left all that was comfortable in his hometown of Kansas City to relocate to St. Louis. Everything he had just experienced remained untouched and unprocessed. “I’m a Bro,” he reminded us all. He didn’t feel comfortable seeking help or expressing how he felt. He was “fine,” despite having trouble sleeping, sudden onset panic attacks, and self-sabotaging himself into complete seclusion. Heath withdrew himself from the rest of the world, including his best friends and his wife, Mel. “I didn’t feel worthy of happiness,” he told us.
The birth of his twin daughters (now four years old), and the outbreak of COVID-19 saved him. We all laughed. Normally, having children is not the advice for a stronger marriage and pandemics typically do not create a sense of calm – but for Heath, it did. His girls gave him reason to show up differently. COVID-19 brought greater awareness to mental health and suddenly, everyone was struggling in some way. There was comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone. We were all anxious and silently suffering from all that we had lost. The more acceptance and awareness around mental health, the more opportunity Heath saw to seek help. Real help. He found a therapist and he’s been regularly going for two years. He relied on boxing and healthy foods to get his head in the right space. Intention was key. There was purpose behind every workout, and it put the joy back into fitness. The pain he carries no longer holds him back from his family, friends, or himself. Rather, his pain has given him the perspective to double down on life and appreciate it to the fullest.
I only choose to do things that bring me joy,” he said. His past life of living with anxiety and depression stole enough and he’s ready to fully live again. He’s learned patience and empathy that have only deepened his love for others. Heath defies the notion that the “strong eat the weak.” Rather, he believes, “the strong carry the weak,” and will always be the first one to lend a hand in need.
What is the one thing Heath wants you to know?
“It’s OK to not be OK. There is power in community to help others feel seen and heard. That, our shared experiences are available as testimonials to others experiencing similar things.”
When I lost my first pregnancy to Trisomy 13, my world as I knew it was over. I lay on the ultrasound table at 20 weeks pregnant eager for the Ultrasound Technician to simply tell me boy or girl. The love I felt for this child stemmed from the deepest part of my core. I never did learn if my first baby was a boy or a girl that day. Rather, I learned that the chambers of the heart, brain and spinal cord were severely deformed. I saw my baby’s double-cleft palate, club foot, and polydactyl hands. “It’s okay,” I said out loud, not understanding the magnitude of the news I had just received.
Several hours, long corridors, waiting rooms, doctors, interns, and genetic counselors later – I understood exactly what I was being told. My pregnancy was incompatible with life. My stomach was in knots trying to cope with the whiplash of emotions, coupled with the doppler being pressed into my belly for so long. Five days later, through the birth of my sister’s son and my 25th birthday, I woke up on an operating table with a lifeless belly. It felt so different. Soft and mushy. This was the beginning of my darkest days, one of which put an email in my inbox: “Your baby was a boy.”
During this time, I needed a hug – a long, patient one that allowed me to hang on tight and show my true pain. I needed people to surround me, hold me, and say my son’s name, Max. I needed the space to stumble and show up authentically. A few were able to give me that, those that were not simply didn’t know what to say. How could they? As a society, we’re not equipped to know these things. The pressure I put on myself to fit the mold of perceived expectations buried me deeper into a hole of depression. Fitness gave me a deeper purpose as it began to heal my wounds over time. It’s a release and an escape. Exercise breeds energy, and positive thoughts, and instills confidence to overcome adversity.
Through this experience, I developed a heightened awareness of empathy and acceptance of my own vulnerability. I became softer and more emotionally exposed to the greater good to help others. Much of my work today stems from losing Max. I want others to be in an environment where they feel safe, seen, and understood. Isolation only magnifies the illnesses we face. I want to create the space for people to live a better life.
Our own mental health can be messy to navigate. It seems easier to pinpoint on others than recognize our own suffering. Our worries either seem too small to address, we become too proud, we lack the skills and tools to heal, or we simply never pause in the day-to-day grind to recognize that the anxiety, depression, fear, PTSD and mundane stressors that keep our breath shallow and cortisol levels high.
When we experience a build-up of stress, the chemical reactions that occur in our bodies leave behind a residue that ultimately creates inflammation in our cells and can lead to many other ailments. The biochemical residue compounds over time and our insides become ill and vulnerable. Mental and physical health are so closely coupled. When one is unhealthy, both become unhealthy. This is one reason intentional breathing is so important. It’s a practice I adopted (The Wim Hof Method) seriously about two years ago through the thick of COVID-19. Oxygenating your blood with slow, deep breaths brings your body to a more alkaline state which cleanses your body of this residue. So much more to be shared on this, and happy to nerd out at any time to talk about the benefits of breathing and different techniques to help heal from the inside out.
What’s weighing you down? What’s keeping you up at night? Is it a strained relationship? Divorce? A failing business? Empty nesting? A health diagnosis? A toxic environment? Work? The loss of a family member? Baggage from your childhood? Self-neglect?
You can’t solve it overnight, but you can plan to restore your health over time. As a society, we’ve developed a high tolerance for stress – and it’s killing us.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Get help and create space for others to do the same.
Mental Health Resources:
General
Psychology Today is a resource to find a therapist, which allows you to sort by zip code, insurance, gender and type of therapy. etc.
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): Support and education (including podcasts, news, blogs, etc)
Mental Health America (MHA) of Eastern Missouri: : Support and education (including articles, videos, blogs etc.)
CRISIS SERVICES
Behavioral Health Response: Crisis support, telephone counseling and health resources 24/7
The 988 Lifeline: Simply dial 988 for the new suicide and crisis hotline as of July 2022
WELLNESS
8 Dimensions of Wellness: Support and education through all dimensions
Need help navigating the system, or have general question? Please reach out to jill.taylor@slu.edu, and a special THANK YOU to you for attending, and providing these resources for others to leverage.
About Heath Norton:
Heath Norton is co-owner of St Louis Boxing Club in Maplewood, MO. He is a health and wellness professional that has been operating St Louis Boxing Club and its previous brand for 10+ years. He is a certified NASM trainer and has a Plant-Based Nutrition certification from E-Cornell University.
