Six Habits I’m Currently Mastering
As we near the end of January, whatever action or goal you set out to accomplish is either starting to stick or is slowly unraveling. If you’re not paying attention, it’s likely unraveling. To make progress in any area of your life, you MUST dedicate your energy there. “Wanting” without effort yields zero results. Dreaming without discomfort is just a dream. Real change requires commitment and focus.
But remember, change is gradual. It is the details of your day that lead to radical change years from now. Be realistic and kind to yourself in your own expectations. To transform, it is the small decisions of your day that make a difference. Fries or fruit? Speak up or hold back? Take vitamins or not? Push harder for 20 seconds or take a break? Scroll your phone or read a book? Listen to the news or sit in silence? Drink a protein shake or not? Pour a glass of wine or go for a walk instead?
Just like you, I’m constantly evolving and seeking a more intentional life. Once new habits become part of my daily routine, I stack a new set of habits.
Here's what I’m currently doing:
1) When I’m working, I play music on my phone.
It helps me concentrate, but more so, it reduces the desire to pick up my phone. When I pick up my phone, it is game over. I check my email, social media, kid’s school app, Amazon orders and…oh by the way, Instagram just served me an ad for a portable car vacuum that I suddenly need and so I purchase that. But, I forgot my Paypal password so now I’m fetching a reset password link in my email. When I’m in there, I notice my recent flight has been canceled so now I am on the phone with United Airlines and buying a portable car vacuum that I’ll never use. I’m on hold with United Airlines and my pest control service calls. I call them back.
Wait, what am I working on? And I wonder why I’m not getting anything done.
2) I moved my Elderberry gummies next to my vitamins.
This SIMPLE change has made such a difference! Let me explain. I love gummy bears. I opt for the gummy melatonin and gummy Elderberry chews mostly because it satisfies my desire to eat a bag of bears. I’m not entirely convinced either is effective, but for that reason alone, it has other benefits. When I simply moved my Elderberry gummies next to my vitamins, I created a new association. If When I take my Elderberry chews, I also take my vitamins. If you’re familiar with James Clear (Atomic Habits) and his Habit Loop, this works because I’m changing the cue–or the trigger–of my vitamins.
I haven’t missed a day in weeks, and as a result, I can FEEL the difference in my body from my vitamins. I have better clarity and feel more energized. The reward of taking my vitamins has enough merit to stand on its own two legs that the Elderberry is no longer needed as a trail of breadcrumbs leading me to my vitamins.
For you, maybe it’s setting your vitamins out on your counter. Setting an alarm on your phone, or even putting in your coffee cup for the next morning as a visual reminder.
3) I don’t look at my phone when I wake up.
I love this practice. It’s therapeutic and energizing. The bright light alone is disruptive, not to mention, whatever surprises are going to be on the other end of an email or the news. To start my day in peace, I surround myself with peace. For me, my morning ritual is where most of my success lies. Even on days that I plan to be in the gym by 4:45 AM, I wake up earlier to allow for this time. I leave my phone on the charger and sit by myself. Having this quiet time uninterrupted grounds me in my own direction and desires. It slows down time. By avoiding my phone, I’m not filling my mind with instant demands or pressures of what I should be doing or clouding my thoughts with the reality of the news. This “mental junk” doesn’t have a chance to tamper with my spirit allowing me to tackle my day on my own terms.
By the way, do you think you’re not addicted to your phone? Try doing this: Pay attention to how many times you reach for your phone or feel the urge to check it.
4) I spend 10 minutes on the ground.
In my new home, I created a space where an oversized yoga mat lives. This area is mine…all mine. A $19 Alexa is nearby and a basket of essentials including a blanket, foam roller, resistance band, etc. Every day, I commit to just 10 minutes on my mat. Mentally, I can give 10 minutes, although what I’ve found is that it either lasts longer or I’ll hit the mat multiple times. These bite-sized, midday “refreshers” have become an opportunity in my day, rather than a time suck.
Sometimes, I sit and look out the window. No agenda. Other times, I listen to music, read, meditate, stretch, do breathwork or do a mini workout. Pouring into myself in this way gives me the freedom and space to listen to what my body and mind need at that moment. For those days that I’m feeling overwhelmed, I know that I need this time on the mat twice as much. The emotional cue (i.e. “I feel overwhelmed”) is now associated with my yoga mat. Every time…EVERY TIME…I choose to spend my time with myself on my mat, I feel better.
Take note, I needed accountability on this one. We ALL need accountability from time to time so don’t be ashamed to ask for help. If you’re in the Burn Boot Camp family, scheduling a Focus Meeting is a great way to start this process.
5) I lick my “toads.”
I read a business book a few years ago titled, Your Oxygen Mask First. There is a chapter titled, “Lick Your Toads”, that is dedicated to knocking out those annoying, non-rewarding tasks we ALL deal with. Like, making an appointment to get your car oil changed, paying bills, or calling to change your credit card information. Those are toads. When we LICK them, we’re committing to them. Taking care of our toads first and dedicating time to knocking these out frees up mental energy to tackle the things that matter more. Have you ever procrastinated on these pesky to-dos, but still found yourself thinking about them distracting you from other things? Yeah, me too. When you knock them out first, you clear your path of distractions and optimize your time better.
So, every day I tackle one. Just one, and they never seem to feel as overwhelming.
6) I set out to make one relational phone call every day.
Becoming a business owner ate me alive. It chewed me up and spit me out before I could count to three. The time I once had to invest in my relationships was replaced with fire drills, meetings, and learning how to run a business. I could sense myself becoming more and more disconnected from the people I love most. I was consumed by guilt, and I needed to be. It was my intuition telling me to slow the F%$* down and pay attention to what matters most. I normally dedicate my drive time to either listening to a podcast or making this one phone call. My Dad. My Mom. My sister. My best friend. It varies. I never want to lose the bond we share because of my work. Both are important, and I can have both. It helps me feel more connected, grounded and all-around happier.
To change, a shift in focus is required. We do not get more time, so it becomes a matter of how we’re using our time and the intention that follows. You can’t rely on motivation alone for change because motivation is temporary. You need to dig deeper to establish a reason for discipline. What fulfills me may not be the answer for you, and vice versa.
