The most toxic relationship is often the one with yourself
The most toxic relationship is often the one with yourself.
The most toxic relationship isn’t always the LOUDEST. It doesn’t have to leave you with open wounds to be destructive. Sometimes, the most toxic relationship is the one that is the quietest. The one that no one else can hear, and that no one else can save you from. Only you. It’s the relationship that is chirping in your ear all day long consuming your thoughts, emotions, and actions – or worse, inaction. Your body language is influenced. It spreads like wildfire and swallows opportunities whole – so fast, you didn’t even know you had opportunities in front of you. The most toxic relationships are suffocating. When you want to fly, your wings are tethered. These wounds leave you with the same scars.
We expend so much energy lifting others around us. Our knee-jerk reaction is to take care of our people. And, when we give a compliment, we must remind that person to “just say thank you,” yet we suck at following these simple instructions ourselves. We have no problem feeding our best friend positive thoughts, but we’re last in line to receive any from ourselves.
Why is this?
Perhaps it’s because it feels so overwhelming that you’re not sure where to start. Or, because this relationship is easy to fake, and you’re not being judged by others. Maybe it’s because you have built a tolerance so high and found complacency in our societal norms that you’re completely oblivious to the work you should be doing.
Pause.
Which one is true for you?
For me, it was the third. I didn’t know my thoughts should sound different. I assumed part of being a woman WAS hating my body. “I’m not that person,” I thought. I kept my ego in check and carried on my way.
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
“I’m not good enough.”
“I deserve to fail.”
“I’ll always be the fat girl.”
“I’m too old.”
“I’ll always be the slowest.”
“I hate the way I look.”
“I hate myself for eating too much.”
“I’m ugly.”
“I have cellulite.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I’m not worthy.”
“My weight defines me.”
“I have no control.”
“I’m too fat for a bikini.”
“I’ll never be successful.”
“She’s better than I am.”
“I’ll never be that positive, happy person. They’re annoying anyway.”
You are not alone in your own mind junk. At some point, we all experience these negative, life-destructing, joy-stealing, success-hindering, pity-party, soul-sucking thoughts. What we hear the MOST, we believe, in both directions.
We forget that we are in CONTROL of our thoughts and are often unrealistic in the monumental effort it takes to redirect junky thoughts. Be patient.
Who and what we surround ourselves with influences our belief system and internal dialog. Your internal dialog will shape your actions. Your actions will shape your future. Choose your surroundings carefully.
Just like you fuel your body with whole foods, start to fuel your mind with positive self-talk:
“I am strong.” “I am getting stronger.”
“I am trying my best.”
“I am proud of myself for showing up.”
“I like myself.”
“I can do hard things.”
“I can, if I keep practicing.”
“I don’t have to be perfect to be happy.”
“I am making a difference every day.”
“I WILL reach my goals!”
“I am worthy.”
“I am different for a reason.”
Feed your mind with the thoughts that serve you well - even if you don’t believe them at first. Eventually, these thoughts will become the ones you hear MOST and you’ll see exactly what I see in YOU.
