Why We Feel Stuck (And What’s Really Holding Us There)

One of the greatest privileges of my life has been getting a front-row seat to human behavior.

Over the years—as a personal trainer, a leader, and a friend—I’ve had the opportunity to see people in their most honest, raw moments. I’ve watched what motivates them. I’ve listened to what excites them. I’ve seen them struggle. And I’ve witnessed, time and time again, the places where they get stuck.

We all get stuck.

Not because we actually are—but because it feels that way.

Most of the time, the feeling of being stuck doesn’t come from a lack of ability or opportunity. It comes from ambiguity.

We “want something”—better health, more confidence, a different career, deeper fulfillment—but the outcome itself is fuzzy. Undefined. Unfelt. And when we can’t clearly see where we’re going, the path in front of us feels like a mountain.

That ambiguity creates paralysis.

We either convince ourselves that the barriers are out of our control, or we realize they are within our control; then we feel frustrated, guilty, or overwhelmed that we aren’t doing anything about them.

So we stay right where we are.

People feel stuck because the desired outcome isn’t clearly understood yet.

We haven’t done the work to fully visualize it.
To experience it before it exists.
To see it, feel it, taste it, and know it.

And even more importantly, we often don’t identify with it.

Read that again.

That outcome represents a version of ourselves that doesn’t yet exist. And because it’s unfamiliar, it feels uncomfortable… different… even scary.

Someone may want to lose weight or eat healthier. But if they don’t see themselves as a “fit person” or someone who prioritizes movement and nourishment, those behaviors will never stick.

Why?

Because identity always wins.

If your internal script says, “I’m the type of person who starts things and never finishes.” If that identity is stronger than the identity of being consistent, disciplined, or healthy, you’ll revert every time.

Not because you lack willpower. But because you crave predictability. And the version of you that already exists is familiar. Known. Safe.

It takes significant courage to meet the version of yourself that doesn’t yet exist.

A Simple (But Powerful) Prompt

One of my favorite writing prompts this December has been:

“I am the type of person who…”

When you slow down and reflect on this, especially in the area where you feel stuck, it reveals everything.

Rewrite that sentence.
Then rewrite it again.
And again.
And again.

Until it feels both empowering and true.

This isn’t about pretending or forcing a version of yourself you don’t yet believe in. It’s about intentionally reshaping the identity you are willing to grow into.

Looking Ahead to 2026

As we prepare for a new year, here’s what I know to be true:

You can want all day long.

But until you clearly understand where you want to go, why it matters, and begin to believe you are worthy of becoming that version of yourself, your “want” will remain just that.

A want.

So I’ll leave you with this question:

What is the cost of staying exactly where you are one year from now?

And is it worth your time…
your energy…
your life…

To believe in yourself enough to reflect, reimagine, and intentionally create a purpose-driven life?

Because the version of you that feels stuck isn’t broken.

She’s simply waiting to be defined.