You’re not failing, you simply drifted.

I love this picture of us. I feel beautiful, his smile isn’t forced, and my heart is full and at peace. We’ve earned every gray hair on our heads; I’m proud of that. We’re sitting in an authentic gondola from Venice (in New Orleans) which satisfies my cheesy, romantic heart. We’ve worked hard to get here and continue to fight for the marriage we both desire and deserve. It’s a process, and we know it always will be.

I’ve wondered why our marriage required more work than others, at times. I questioned if we were compatible or if love had worn out its welcome. Next month, we’ll celebrate 21 years together. We’ve grown in so many different directions - sometimes together, sometimes not. The highs and lows of our businesses have challenged us the most, and have also been our greatest teachers. We’ve struggled to align on parenting styles and find the winning formula in how my heart and his mind complement one another vs. competing for the limelight. I’ve learned that the hours we’ve logged with Mika Ross aren’t a reflection of our failures, but a reflection of our desire to get better.

Lately, I’ve felt more tension between us. I wasn’t communicating well and he wasn’t listening well. Wink! The habits and disciplines that helped us be successful had slowly started to unravel. In the moment, it wasn’t noticeable. But, when we looked back three months, it was clear we had veered off path.

The fitness journey is no different. How many times have you coasted along in your fitness journey assuming all those habits you’ve created were tightly intact just as you mastered them? Maybe you thought now that you were seeing results, you didn’t need to work as hard. Or, perhaps the subtleties of life naturally drifted you away from your intentions. Maybe you’ve even lost your “Why.” You feel lethargic, you’ve gained a few pounds, and BOOM - you’re a “failure.” You’re frustrated, and become desperate for “the answer.” You consult with Dr. Google who tells you your thyroid is failing, your hormones are imbalanced, you’re old AF, and you probably need a hefty dose of semaglutide. Sure, any of this could be possible but the simple, boring habits that require consistency are often not the first pass for most people. Most often, you simply veer off path and need that gentle nudge to reestablish the habits and disciplines that create successful outcomes.

I see this happen often. The subtle drift off course becomes instant grounds for termination and a downward spiral of guilt, embarrassment, and manufactured failure. Thoughts of self-doubt creep in, such as, “I can’t do this,” or “I knew this wasn’t possible.” Don’t believe this nonsense.

These are the junctions that determine your long-term success.

If you sulk here for long, you only magnify these thoughts and your compromised habits only become more extreme. Once you lose some momentum, you become quick to lose all momentum. A lot of people get stuck here. They throw in the towel, quit their fitness routines, bury their face in a tub of chocolate ice cream, and call it Q-U-I-T-S. This may be you.

But what if instead of creating this ceiling for yourself, you acknowledged the slipping habits and were reminded of the success you previously experienced through specific behaviors and actions? When was the last time you asked for help? How often are you exercising? Are you meal planning? How often are you drinking alcohol…really? Are you taking your vitamins and/or supplements? Are you getting enough protein and water? How many “first bites” are you eating off your children’s plate? Are you choosing to take the elevator when you can take the stairs?

What if you simply acknowledged where you drifted off course and gently got back on?

I compare this to my marriage. If Ted and I called it quits every time we struggled to communicate well or connect deeper, we would have lost each other decades ago. Instead, we continue to put in the work, evolve through change, and keep our marriage a focus. The fitness journey requires the same level of care, patience, and focus. Yes, habits help make the fitness journey easier, but it still requires work. When you skip meal planning or compromise on your non-negotiables consistently, results change. Proven habits take a backseat while our immediate desires, demands, and comfort zones take the wheel. Your fitness journey will continue to face new challenges, just as my marriage will. If you only deem yourself successful when things are going well, you’ve instantly set yourself up for failure when a hurdle appears. How quick are you to identify the decisions that lead you to success - or not?

What makes people successful is not the absence of hurdles, but their ability to navigate each one as they arise.

I’m committed. Are you?